Happy Talk Like A Pirate Day!

Sadly, I forgot all about this until this afternoon. Usually I get reminders in my email from the people who started the whole thing. For some reason this year I didn’t get any notice.

Anyway. I hope my crew of scurvy dogs will grab a pot of grog and have some fun with this. 🙂

As Chumbucket reminds us…

This is the day to let your inner pirate out to play. Swagger, growl and let the world see the buccaneer inside.

Have a peek at a few videos (hopefully you can get them to show up- I can’t do videos from out here).

The Five As – a quick and dirty Pirate Talk Lesson

Cap’n Slappy’s Random Phrases

Dress Like a Pirate (On the Cheap)

And, Wooing Wenches, Ol’ Chumbucket and Mad Sally give a lesson in love.

Pirates Christmas

Getting into the Christmas spirit around here. It’s Christmas Eve already- wow! Here’s a fun little video by Tom Mason & the Blue Buccaneers. It’s another Song of the Sea too. 😉

Yo Ho Ho (Pirates Christmas)

‘Twas the night before Christmas

And out on the sea…

Continue reading

Songs of the Sea: Pirate Chantey

In honor of Pirates Weekend at the Texas Renaissance Fair, I’m re-posting this little ditty from last year.

Here’s another little sea chantey to add to your musical collection. It’s done by Key & Peele, 2 funny guys who used to be on MADtv (which I loved). I really used to love MAD magazine when I was a kid, but the ones they’re coming out with now are nowhere near as funny as they used to be (and no, it’s not just because I’m getting older!).

This sketch somehow manages to be both a little risque’ and PC at the same time. 😉

Pirate Chantey– Key & Peele

“Thar once was a lass so fine,
She was drunk on Barleywine,
I’d been (out) to sea for a month or three,
I knew I could make her mine.
But the lass was past consent,
So it was off with her we went,
And we threw her in bed and we rested her head,
And we left cuz that’s what Gentlemen do…

A woman has a right to a drink or two,
Without worryin’ about what you will do!
We say Yo-HO but we don’t say ‘ho,’ 
Cuz ‘ho’ is disrespectful, yo.

Thar once was a girl from Leeds,
Who I heard was good on her knees,
So I docked my ship for an overnight trip,
To take care of all of my needs.
She was fine as the tales did tell,
And my mast began to swell,
So I laid her down and I raised her gown,
And performed cunnilingus for an hour or so.

Always take care of yer lady fair,
Cuz they deserve as much attention down there!
We say Yo-HO but we don’t say ‘ho,’
Cuz ‘ho’ is disrespectful, yo.

I once had a woman so fair,
Whose whom contained my heir,
With a son by my side, the seas we’d ride,
The child she would bear.
But my woman she was no fool,
She was working her way through school,
So I did support when she chose to abort,
Because it’s her body and therefor her choice.

No we don’t say ‘booty’ ‘less we talkin’ ’bout gold,
and we don’t look at chests ‘less they’s treasure-holds!
With a hat and a feather and a cutlass on our hip,
We don’t say ‘she’ when we’re talking ’bout a ship!
We don’t say ‘bitch’ and we don’t say ‘whore,’
Cuz that language leads to things like body dysmorphia.

Thar was a lady with a golden eye,
And the doctor said she would die,
So she emptied her purse to lift the curse,
And prayed to stay alive.
She awoke the very next day,
And in her grave she lay,
But the scariest part of the story from the start,
Is I bet you assumed the doctor was a man.

Women are doctors too,
And for a fraction of the doubloons!
We say Yo-HO but we don’t say ‘ho,’
Cuz ‘ho’ is disrespectful, yo.

Thar was a slut with tits to here, and an ass that- (gunshot. he is dead and that is good.)

Cuz it’s Yo-HO but we don’t say ‘ho,’
Cuz ‘ho’ is disrespectful, yo.”

Songs of the Sea: Yo Ho Ho

Tomorrow is officially International Talk Like a Pirate Day (don’t forget to stop by your local Krispy Kreme for some free donuts). For this weeks Song of the Sea, I’ll get into the spirit a little bit early with this version of Yo Ho Ho by the Corsairs. So, here’s to yaaarrrgh…..

Yo Ho Ho (and a Bottle of Rum) 

Fifteen men on a dead man’s chest
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!
Drink and the devil be done for the rest
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!

The mate was fixed by the bos’n’s pike
The bos’n’ brained with a marlin spike
And cookey’s throat was marked belike
It had been gripped by fingers ten and
There they lay all good dead men like
Break o’ day in a boozing ken__
Yo Ho Ho and a bottle of rum !

Fifteen men of a whole ship’s list
Yo Ho Ho and a bottle of rum!
Dead and be d___ed and the rest gone whist!
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!

The skipper lay with his nob in gore
Where the scullion’s axe his cheek had shore
And the scullion he was stabbed times four
And there he lay while the soggy skies
Dripped all day-long in up-staring eyes
At Murk sunset and a foul sunrise
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!

Fifteen men of ’em stiff and stark
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!
Ten of the crew had the murder mark
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!

‘Twas a cutlass swipe or and ounce of lead
Or a yawning hole in a battered head
and the scuppers glut with a rotting red
And there they lay aye d___ my eyes
All lookouts clapped on par – a – dise
All souls bound just con – tra – ri – wise
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!

Fifteen men of ’em good and true
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!
Every man Jack could ha’ sailed with old Pew
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!

There was chest on chest of Spanish gold with a
Ton of plate in the middle hold
And the cabins riot with stuff un told
And there they lay that had took the plum
With a sightless glare and their lips struck dumb
While we shared all by the rule of thumb
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!

Fifteen men of a dead man’s chest
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum
Drink and the devil had done for the rest
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!

(FALTA UM VERSO/////////////)

We wrapped ’em all in a mains'(cel)l tight
with Twice ten turns of a hausers bight
And we heaved ’em over and out of sight
with a Yo heave ho and fare you well
And a sullen plunge in a sullen swell
Ten fathoms deep on the road to hell
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!

Rainy Days

It’s been raining here non-stop for the last 2 days! I’ve been stuck in the house, can’t even take my daily walk. Planned to go to the Renaissance Festival for the Pirates, but that is NOT somewhere I want to be in the rain!

So….

It’s still going on every weekend til Nov 29th, so I’ll try to go another weekend when hopefully it’s not raining. The Barbarians will be there Nov 14-15, they should be almost as good as the Pirates. 😉

Since I’m just hanging around the house listening to the rain, I’ve been trying to fix my blog. So far I am making zero progress and getting nothing but frustration out of the project!

I did get my computer back from the shop, but they couldn’t fix the issue (virus that encrypts all my photos) and I am VERY upset over losing all that stuff! I had hundreds of photos on my thumb drive (put them there since computer was full up).

I can just be thankful it didn’t get into the computer too.

I met a guy on linkedin the other day who I HOPE can help me with some of this stuff. Otherwise, it’s getting to the point where I’m wondering if it’s going to be worth all the stress and aggravation. 🙁

I hope we can get together tomorrow to go over everything and he can start working on it soon. I’ll be busy most of the week with other things and won’t have another ‘free’ day til Friday.

Arrrgh- I Missed It!

Aye, I’ve been so busy here on this old ship, I totally forgot that yesterday (Sept 19th) was International Talk Like a Pirate Day!

Yaaar, I be stuck here on this old ship, but I still could have had some fun with the whole pirate thing. Yeah, even here.

Of course, it would have been a hell of a lot more fun to be off. There are parties all over the world to celebrate and for sure I would have been in attendance!

Next year, I’ll be sure to remember next year.

 

Songs of the Sea: Pirate Jenny

Here’s another Song of the Sea. More jazzy than most. It’s a real classic!

Nina Simone – Pirate Jenny Lyrics

You people can watch while I’m scrubbing these floors
And I’m scrubbin’ the floors while you’re gawking
Maybe once ya tip me and it makes ya feel swell
In this crummy Southern town
In this crummy old hotel
But you’ll never guess to who you’re talkin’.
No. You couldn’t ever guess to who you’re talkin’.Then one night there’s a scream in the night
And you’ll wonder who could that have been
And you see me kinda grinnin’ while I’m scrubbin’
And you say, “What’s she got to grin?”
I’ll tell you.There’s a ship
The Black Freighter
With a skull on its masthead
Will be coming in

You gentlemen can say, “Hey gal, finish them floors!
Get upstairs! What’s wrong with you! Earn your keep here!
You toss me your tips
And look out to the ships
But I’m counting your heads
As I’m making the beds
Cuz there’s nobody gonna sleep here, honey
Nobody
Nobody!

Then one night there’s a scream in the night
And you say, “Who’s that kicking up a row?”
And ya see me kinda starin’ out the winda
And you say, “What’s she got to stare at now?”
I’ll tell ya.

There’s a ship
The Black Freighter
Turns around in the harbor
Shootin’ guns from her bow

Now
You gentlemen can wipe off that smile off your face
Cause every building in town is a flat one
This whole frickin’ place will be down to the ground
Only this cheap hotel standing up safe and sound
And you yell, “Why do they spare that one?”
Yes.
That’s what you say.
“Why do they spare that one?”

All the night through, through the noise and to-do
You wonder who is that person that lives up there?
And you see me stepping out in the morning
Looking nice with a ribbon in my hair

And the ship
The Black Freighter
Runs a flag up its masthead
And a cheer rings the air

By noontime the dock
Is a-swarmin’ with men
Comin’ out from the ghostly freighter
They move in the shadows
Where no one can see
And they’re chainin’ up people
And they’re bringin’ em to me
Askin’ me,
“Kill them NOW, or LATER?”
Askin’ ME!
“Kill them now, or later?”

Noon by the clock
And so still by the dock
You can hear a foghorn miles away
And in that quiet of death
I’ll say, “Right now.
Right now!”

Then they’ll pile up the bodies
And I’ll say,
“That’ll learn ya!”

And the ship
The Black Freighter
Disappears out to sea
And
On
It
Is
Me