Oh Boy, I wish I was going to be home for this! Amazingly, this is the first time I’ve ever heard of it. The Lone Star Pirate Festival. Wow. Right here in Houston, how lucky we are. 😉
It looks like so much fun. You get to dress up like pirates, drink lots of pirate beverages, listen to maritime/pirate music (the Bilge Pumps, Blaggards, etc), and go around saying ‘arrrrgghh’. And everybody around actually ‘gets it’. 😉
They’ll also have food trucks and vendors and according to their Facebook page, a real life mermaid. 😉 It’s also inside so you don’t have to worry about the weather. I’d love to go!
I can’t wish too hard though, since I am supposed to be working during that time period. It’s scheduled for July 20th and I should be shipboard by then (it’s not a pirate ship 😉 ).
I was thinking about it this afternoon and until this job I will have only worked 5 weeks out of 36! I can’t hope for anything else other than that I actually get to go do that job! So many have been cancelled this year at the last minute.
Maybe they’ll have another one of these festivals that I can go to. I hope so. I hope they come back to Houston. I don’t like driving all the way up there, but it’s not too far for something like this. If anybody get’s to go, I hope you’ll let us know how it went.
Sadly, I forgot all about this until this afternoon. Usually I get reminders in my email from the people who started the whole thing. For some reason this year I didn’t get any notice.
Anyway. I hope my crew of scurvy dogs will grab a pot of grog and have some fun with this. 🙂
As Chumbucket reminds us…
This is the day to let your inner pirate out to play. Swagger, growl and let the world see the buccaneer inside.
Have a peek at a few videos (hopefully you can get them to show up- I can’t do videos from out here).
The Five As – a quick and dirty Pirate Talk Lesson
Cap’n Slappy’s Random Phrases
Dress Like a Pirate (On the Cheap)
And, Wooing Wenches, Ol’ Chumbucket and Mad Sally give a lesson in love.
Getting into the Christmas spirit around here. It’s Christmas Eve already- wow! Here’s a fun little video by Tom Mason & the Blue Buccaneers. It’s another Song of the Sea too. 😉
In honor of Pirates Weekend at the Texas Renaissance Fair, I’m re-posting this little ditty from last year.
Here’s another little sea chantey to add to your musical collection. It’s done by Key & Peele, 2 funny guys who used to be on MADtv (which I loved). I really used to love MAD magazine when I was a kid, but the ones they’re coming out with now are nowhere near as funny as they used to be (and no, it’s not just because I’m getting older!).
This sketch somehow manages to be both a little risque’ and PC at the same time. 😉
Pirate Chantey– Key & Peele
“Thar once was a lass so fine, She was drunk on Barleywine, I’d been (out) to sea for a month or three, I knew I could make her mine. But the lass was past consent, So it was off with her we went, And we threw her in bed and we rested her head, And we left cuz that’s what Gentlemen do…
A woman has a right to a drink or two, Without worryin’ about what you will do! We say Yo-HO but we don’t say ‘ho,’ Cuz ‘ho’ is disrespectful, yo.
Thar once was a girl from Leeds, Who I heard was good on her knees, So I docked my ship for an overnight trip, To take care of all of my needs. She was fine as the tales did tell, And my mast began to swell, So I laid her down and I raised her gown, And performed cunnilingus for an hour or so.
Always take care of yer lady fair, Cuz they deserve as much attention down there! We say Yo-HO but we don’t say ‘ho,’ Cuz ‘ho’ is disrespectful, yo.
I once had a woman so fair, Whose whom contained my heir, With a son by my side, the seas we’d ride, The child she would bear. But my woman she was no fool, She was working her way through school, So I did support when she chose to abort, Because it’s her body and therefor her choice.
No we don’t say ‘booty’ ‘less we talkin’ ’bout gold, and we don’t look at chests ‘less they’s treasure-holds! With a hat and a feather and a cutlass on our hip, We don’t say ‘she’ when we’re talking ’bout a ship! We don’t say ‘bitch’ and we don’t say ‘whore,’ Cuz that language leads to things like body dysmorphia.
Thar was a lady with a golden eye, And the doctor said she would die, So she emptied her purse to lift the curse, And prayed to stay alive. She awoke the very next day, And in her grave she lay, But the scariest part of the story from the start, Is I bet you assumed the doctor was a man.
Women are doctors too, And for a fraction of the doubloons! We say Yo-HO but we don’t say ‘ho,’ Cuz ‘ho’ is disrespectful, yo.
Thar was a slut with tits to here, and an ass that- (gunshot. he is dead and that is good.)
Cuz it’s Yo-HO but we don’t say ‘ho,’ Cuz ‘ho’ is disrespectful, yo.”
Tomorrow is officially International Talk Like a Pirate Day (don’t forget to stop by your local Krispy Kreme for some free donuts). For this weeks Song of the Sea, I’ll get into the spirit a little bit early with this version of Yo Ho Ho by the Corsairs. So, here’s to yaaarrrgh…..
Yo Ho Ho (and a Bottle of Rum)
Fifteen men on a dead man’s chest Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum! Drink and the devil be done for the rest Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!
The mate was fixed by the bos’n’s pike The bos’n’ brained with a marlin spike And cookey’s throat was marked belike It had been gripped by fingers ten and There they lay all good dead men like Break o’ day in a boozing ken__ Yo Ho Ho and a bottle of rum !
Fifteen men of a whole ship’s list Yo Ho Ho and a bottle of rum! Dead and be d___ed and the rest gone whist! Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!
The skipper lay with his nob in gore Where the scullion’s axe his cheek had shore And the scullion he was stabbed times four And there he lay while the soggy skies Dripped all day-long in up-staring eyes At Murk sunset and a foul sunrise Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!
Fifteen men of ’em stiff and stark Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum! Ten of the crew had the murder mark Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!
‘Twas a cutlass swipe or and ounce of lead Or a yawning hole in a battered head and the scuppers glut with a rotting red And there they lay aye d___ my eyes All lookouts clapped on par – a – dise All souls bound just con – tra – ri – wise Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!
Fifteen men of ’em good and true Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum! Every man Jack could ha’ sailed with old Pew Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!
There was chest on chest of Spanish gold with a Ton of plate in the middle hold And the cabins riot with stuff un told And there they lay that had took the plum With a sightless glare and their lips struck dumb While we shared all by the rule of thumb Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!
Fifteen men of a dead man’s chest Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum Drink and the devil had done for the rest Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!
(FALTA UM VERSO/////////////)
We wrapped ’em all in a mains'(cel)l tight with Twice ten turns of a hausers bight And we heaved ’em over and out of sight with a Yo heave ho and fare you well And a sullen plunge in a sullen swell Ten fathoms deep on the road to hell Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!
It’s been raining here non-stop for the last 2 days! I’ve been stuck in the house, can’t even take my daily walk. Planned to go to the Renaissance Festival for the Pirates, but that is NOT somewhere I want to be in the rain!
So….
It’s still going on every weekend til Nov 29th, so I’ll try to go another weekend when hopefully it’s not raining. The Barbarians will be there Nov 14-15, they should be almost as good as the Pirates. 😉
Since I’m just hanging around the house listening to the rain, I’ve been trying to fix my blog. So far I am making zero progress and getting nothing but frustration out of the project!
I did get my computer back from the shop, but they couldn’t fix the issue (virus that encrypts all my photos) and I am VERY upset over losing all that stuff! I had hundreds of photos on my thumb drive (put them there since computer was full up).
I can just be thankful it didn’t get into the computer too.
I met a guy on linkedin the other day who I HOPE can help me with some of this stuff. Otherwise, it’s getting to the point where I’m wondering if it’s going to be worth all the stress and aggravation. 🙁
I hope we can get together tomorrow to go over everything and he can start working on it soon. I’ll be busy most of the week with other things and won’t have another ‘free’ day til Friday.
Yaaar, I be stuck here on this old ship, but I still could have had some fun with the whole pirate thing. Yeah, even here.
Of course, it would have been a hell of a lot more fun to be off. There are parties all over the world to celebrate and for sure I would have been in attendance!
You people can watch while I’m scrubbing these floors And I’m scrubbin’ the floors while you’re gawking Maybe once ya tip me and it makes ya feel swell In this crummy Southern town In this crummy old hotel But you’ll never guess to who you’re talkin’. No. You couldn’t ever guess to who you’re talkin’.Then one night there’s a scream in the night And you’ll wonder who could that have been And you see me kinda grinnin’ while I’m scrubbin’ And you say, “What’s she got to grin?” I’ll tell you.There’s a ship The Black Freighter With a skull on its masthead Will be coming in
You gentlemen can say, “Hey gal, finish them floors! Get upstairs! What’s wrong with you! Earn your keep here! You toss me your tips And look out to the ships But I’m counting your heads As I’m making the beds Cuz there’s nobody gonna sleep here, honey Nobody Nobody!
Then one night there’s a scream in the night And you say, “Who’s that kicking up a row?” And ya see me kinda starin’ out the winda And you say, “What’s she got to stare at now?” I’ll tell ya.
There’s a ship The Black Freighter Turns around in the harbor Shootin’ guns from her bow
Now You gentlemen can wipe off that smile off your face Cause every building in town is a flat one This whole frickin’ place will be down to the ground Only this cheap hotel standing up safe and sound And you yell, “Why do they spare that one?” Yes. That’s what you say. “Why do they spare that one?”
All the night through, through the noise and to-do You wonder who is that person that lives up there? And you see me stepping out in the morning Looking nice with a ribbon in my hair
And the ship The Black Freighter Runs a flag up its masthead And a cheer rings the air
By noontime the dock Is a-swarmin’ with men Comin’ out from the ghostly freighter They move in the shadows Where no one can see And they’re chainin’ up people And they’re bringin’ em to me Askin’ me, “Kill them NOW, or LATER?” Askin’ ME! “Kill them now, or later?”
Noon by the clock And so still by the dock You can hear a foghorn miles away And in that quiet of death I’ll say, “Right now. Right now!”
Then they’ll pile up the bodies And I’ll say, “That’ll learn ya!”
And the ship The Black Freighter Disappears out to sea And On It Is Me
Here’s another little sea chantey to add to your musical collection. It’s done by Key & Peele, 2 funny guys who used to be on MADtv (which I loved). I really used to love MAD magazine when I was a kid, but the ones they’re coming out with now are nowhere near as funny as they used to be (and no, it’s not just because I’m getting older!).
This sketch somehow manages to be both a little risque’ and PC at the same time. 😉
Pirate Chantey– Key & Peele
“Thar once was a lass so fine, She was drunk on Barleywine, I’d been (out) to sea for a month or three, I knew I could make her mine. But the lass was past consent, So it was off with her we went, And we threw her in bed and we rested her head, And we left cuz that’s what Gentlemen do…
A woman has a right to a drink or two, Without worryin’ about what you will do! We say Yo-HO but we don’t say ‘ho,’ Cuz ‘ho’ is disrespectful, yo.
Thar once was a girl from Leeds, Who I heard was good on her knees, So I docked my ship for an overnight trip, To take care of all of my needs. She was fine as the tales did tell, And my mast began to swell, So I laid her down and I raised her gown, And performed cunnilingus for an hour or so.
Always take care of yer lady fair, Cuz they deserve as much attention down there! We say Yo-HO but we don’t say ‘ho,’ Cuz ‘ho’ is disrespectful, yo.
I once had a woman so fair, Whose whom contained my heir, With a son by my side, the seas we’d ride, The child she would bear. But my woman she was no fool, She was working her way through school, So I did support when she chose to abort, Because it’s her body and therefor her choice.
No we don’t say ‘booty’ ‘less we talkin’ ’bout gold, and we don’t look at chests ‘less they’s treasure-holds! With a hat and a feather and a cutlass on our hip, We don’t say ‘she’ when we’re talking ’bout a ship! We don’t say ‘bitch’ and we don’t say ‘whore,’ Cuz that language leads to things like body dysmorphia.
Thar was a lady with a golden eye, And the doctor said she would die, So she emptied her purse to lift the curse, And prayed to stay alive. She awoke the very next day, And in her grave she lay, But the scariest part of the story from the start, Is I bet you assumed the doctor was a man.
Women are doctors too, And for a fraction of the doubloons! We say Yo-HO but we don’t say ‘ho,’ Cuz ‘ho’ is disrespectful, yo.
Thar was a slut with tits to here, and an ass that- (gunshot. he is dead and that is good.)
Cuz it’s Yo-HO but we don’t say ‘ho,’ Cuz ‘ho’ is disrespectful, yo.”
Arrrrggh Mateys! This is the day we’ve all been waiting for (or not). 😉
It’s International Talk Like A Pirate Day! Enjoy watching the festivities from last year. Maybe you can find some around your location too. 🙂
I know my sailing buddies at Sail La Vie in Houston are having a big dress like a pirate paaarrty and sail tomorrow. (I’m just still too beat from work, that looooong journey home with no sleep, and too much to do to justify a 3+ hour drive, even for a great party).
Instead, I’ll be heading to the Texas Navy Day Celebrations here locally at Surfside Beach. Maybe I’ll even get to shoot a cannon! Arrrrghh, that’s a piraty activity too. 🙂
Check out the Talk Like A Pirate website, maybe you can find some nearby pirates to practice the lingo with over a good glass of grog. (It helps). Join in the fun! 🙂
Anyone who wants to send me pirate pictures, feel free! 🙂
This is one of my all time favorite songs by one of my favorite artists. I grew up on the beach in Florida. I grew up with Jimmy Buffett songs. I always love a good songwriter (storyteller). I always felt like he was writing his songs about me and my friends. 😉
This particular song is really hitting home right now. I just had a birthday and definitely still feeling like I’m “arriving too late”. I’ve mentioned before about how things have changed (for the worse) in the maritime industry.
Yeah, this about sums it up for me…
Yes, I am a pirate two hundred years too late.
The cannons don’t thunder there’s nothin’ to plunder
I’m an over forty victim of fate
Arriving too late, arriving too late.
Here’s a link to a cool post on gCaptain. It has photos and stories from all the headline news from the maritime industry over the past year. I thought it would be interesting for a New Years type post.
Here they have everything from the fire on the cruise ship Carnival Triumph and her subsequent adventures as a “floating toilet” to the Costa Concordia disaster.
The grounding/salvage of the navy minesweeper USS Guardian and the delivery of the USS Freedom and the very first Mobile Landing Platform (MLP1) USNS Montford Point.
The break up of the MOL Comfort containership and the sinking of the MV Albedo after she was hijacked by pirates.
The slow speed chase of the smoke ship MV Gold Star in the Mediterranean and the antics of the Sea Shepard ships in the Southern Ocean.
The sinking of the in/famous sailing ship Bounty as she tried to outsail a major hurricane in the Atlantic ocean.
My favorite was the story of the rescue of the cook from the tug Jascon 4 after she sank. The man survived for over 2 days under the sea!!
Check it out, there’re lots of interesting stories. I’ve written about a couple of them here already,
I’m amazed they needed to do a study to learn this! Pirates work for bosses too, just like pirate leader Muse told Tom Hanks in the movie Captain Phillips. 🙁
According to the study, the pirates only get about 0.01 percent of what they manage to collect. The rest goes to the ‘financiers’. Wow!
One of the comments makes an excellent point and its too bad that no one will actually follow up on this idea…
“So! — the real crooks behind this reign of terror at sea are (as elsewhere) the financiers and the companies, who are profiting from the work of their ‘foot-soldiers’.”
Here’s a little video of the pirates from BuzzFeed and CNN. I’m not sure how they got this film, but its really very general and not saying much other than that yes, there are really a lot of pirates out there and nobody is doing much about the problem. 🙁
You can change your language on facebook from regular English to Pirate English. I don’t know if they translate from other languages (Spanish, French, German, etc) to Pirate. 😉
I did that last year for a while for fun. My computer has some kind of bug in it right now and I’m having huge problems with facebook. I have to go use a different computer to get on there so I haven’t done it this year. I was just on there trying to catch up a little bit.
By the time I get home to fix my buggy computer (hopefully fix it), Pirate Day will be long gone. So, enjoy it without me this time, me mateys- arrrrggh.
Have a cup of grog or a few shots of rum for me. 🙂
Here’s a new movie coming out that looks pretty interesting. Called ‘The Project’, and directed by Emmy-award winners Shawn Efran and Adam Ciralsky. Hopefully it will bring some attention to a serious issue the worlds seafarers have to deal with.
If you happen to live in the Hampton Roads area (VA), it’s going to be shown for FREE. At the Mariners Museum (www.marinersmuseum.org). Thursday, Sept 19, 7:00 pm, followed by a Q & A session.
If I was home, I would definitely like to go see this. Pirates are a serious issue to all mariners. We may or may not know where we’re going. We’re not allowed to have any sort of protection against these thugs. Our companies expect us to run and hide in a ‘citadel’ onboard til the pirates decide to just leave. Yeah, riiiight, that works SO well…
There are thousands of seafarers injured and traumatized for life because of this. It seems it’s only when an American vessel gets attacked that there is even any publicity.
Pirate attacks happen almost daily on both the East and West Coasts of Africa. There are also attacks in the Malacca Straits, in the South China Sea, all over India and Pakistan, and yes, they still have pirates in the Caribbean 🙁
Too bad they’re not really at all like Johnny Depp.
Sure took ’em long enough! I guess they had to wait til almost all of these poor guys died??! They should have been eligible from the very beginning for all the honors and perks the military got.
I might piss off some military people by saying that, but they probably don’t know the history of the Merchant Marine. They should! The US Merchant Marine has served in every war since before this country was even formed, in fact, without their service in the time of the Revolution, we never would have been able to do squat against Britain!
The Merchant Marine has lost more men in these wars then every other branch of the military. Easy to figure out why when you realize that we were not ever allowed to defend ourselves. Oh yeah, occasionally they would stick a few marines on board with some guns as a half- assed measure of protection, but only during the major wars- WWI and WWII pretty much.
To this day, the Merchant Marine is out there supplying the troops overseas while trying to get around the pirates and they STILL get no recognition from anyone. I hope the new movie with Tom Hanks playing Captain Phillips on the Maersk Alabama gets some attention. Maybe people will appreciate what the sailors go through to get them the everyday things they need.
Its way past time we cracked down on these pirates. What the hell is wrong with our priorities these days. We go around the world bombing people all over the place who haven’t done anything and yet we can’t manage to do ANYTHING about these pirates???? What the hell? Pirates were one of the first things we attacked back in the early days of our country and if we had good enough reason then, we have good enough reason now. Stop droning the people of Iraq and Afghanistan and go drone some pirates instead!
